Momma was big on family reunions. As a child, I have great memories of these large assemblages and hordes of food. Straight from the kitchens of my kin came ham, roasts, casseroles, pickles, and sliced tomatoes and cucumbers. There were some vegetables, too, as folks had big gardens. The tables were organized in food groups. I was vaguely interested in the main dish category. I usually ran swiftly past the “sides” table. No need to fill up on vegetables, some of which I could not identify. I remember ambling alongside the dessert table, gazing at the cakes, pies and cobblers and daring to poke my finger right in some good chocolate frosting. I do not recall seeing a storebought dessert. Everything was on plates and platters from home. It was a foodie’s heaven. And I was a mini-foodie.

There was also a fair amount of enthusiastic hugs and kisses. Well, not like those in the picture of my Momma and Daddy (left). I just wanted to demonstrate that we were an affectionate family. I come from a long line of huggers but I have learned since those days that there are many people in this world that appreciate merely a nod and hello. No personal space invasion. Growing up, I was not aware of “personal space.” That’s okay, different strokes for different folks. You are going to get a hug from me unless you back up like a mule! And I have met a few mules in my time.

As for reunions, my recollection of my maternal grandmother’s family gatherings every June comes to mind. And I am sure I will be corrected on many accounts as childhood events are perceived solely through those innocent viewfinders.

The Nixon Family Tree

My maternal grandmother, Ethel, had twelve siblings. That’s pretty rare these days. I am pretty much in awe with anyone that has over five children. That momma has to be a saint.

In birth order, my grandmother was number six…the middle child. According to Momma, two of the siblings died before age 2. Of the remaining ten children, six lived well into their eighties and nineties, my grandmother lived a few months shy of 97 years. The oldest sibling, Samuel, died in 1943, at the age of 55, so I never knew him. I actually found his obituary by searching Mr. Google, who has most of any kind of information you may be looking for. If you have ever read an obituary from years ago, you will notice they usually told a story. Samuel’s death notice explained that it was his first day back on the job after an extended illness. He worked as an electrician for the city of Beaumont, Texas. His work truck was struck by a train. That was sad business and a further confirmation of how lives can be forever changed in a moment.

It was no secret that my grandmother loved her family and was loyal to the nth degree. That was confirmed when her brother’s wife died in childbirth and she assumed care of that child, along with her four children, until he went out into the world. Reunions gave everyone a chance to spend time with those they did not see often. Those Nixon’s made the most of it, in my view.

When I reviewed the birth and death dates for my grandmother’s parents , Sallie and Jim, and their children, I was amazed to learn:

• My Great-Grandmother, Sallie, was 22 when she bore her first child (of twelve children )and 49 when her last child was born. I am swooning just writing this. She died at 59 years of age of a “stomach complaint.” (according to my grandmother). Really?
• Sallie had children over a span of 27 years…So she was having grandchildren at the same time she was having children. If I had dug deeper, who knows, she may well have had some great grands while birthing those last babies.
• My Great-grandfather, Jim, married twice more after Sallie’s death according to my grandmother. She did not particularly care to discuss his women acquaintances of which he seemed to have no trouble acquiring. From conversations remembered, I got the impression he was a neer-do-well. ( I have very faint memories of him. Hopefully, other relatives that may have known him longer or were closer to him can tell me otherwise.)
• Jim lived to the ripe old age of 97 and in his later years, he lived on and off with some of his adult children. Momma always said she had heard that he was from an American Indian heritage but like most, she didn’t ask him any questions.

Heritage

My son gave me a DNA kit from Ancestry.com for my birthday. The report indicated I am 1% Native American. That’s not very much. But I found the report interesting and wanted to know more about my family. It also connected me with some other “new” relatives. If you are interested, you can get this kit from Amazon! It’s a spit test, real easy! Click here.

When I think of my maternal grandmother and her get-togethers, I always think of her Blackberry Jam cake. She would make a yellow cake and spread blackberry jam between the layers and on top. She made her own jam. Now, that was not my favorite cake back then but I have an updated version of that cake that you may enjoy. It makes a great small cake. It is an eight-inch single layer cake with a blackberry jam filling. I love it!

I have not attended a large reunion like those of my childhood in many years. As family members passed, funerals became a reunion of sorts. And I often hear laments from the mourners of not visiting the deceased while they were alive. The times are certainly different.

My Soirees

Lately, I get together with former work peers, school friends, and family. I think I have always been socially inclined. As I am nearing sundown, it is more important for me to be with those I am closest to. Some folks tend to avoid inviting people over to their homes. They think their house has to look a certain way or it needs to be deep cleaned. What I’ve learned is that no one cares about the house.

For the last several years, some of my first cousins have made a concerted effort to stay close. We are all retired but still lead active lives so we put it on the “schedule.” There’s only a few of us and two have already passed away. So now, we add friends to our group.

Recently, I hosted a cousin’s dessert soiree. My definition of soiree has nothing to do with an elaborate affair. Remember, times have changed. For me, a soiree is a few desserts with friends. I love to bake and I start a few days ahead baking a host of sweet delights. There was Ms. Eva Mae’s Funeral Cake, Katrina’s Ancel Coconut cake, Chocolate Pecan Sheet Cake, Brownie Trifle, and Pecan, Jam and Lemon Curd Tartlets. We hugged, caught up on each other’s lives and it ended with a discussion on the date for the next get together! We also discussed when we would be sampling Aunt Tenna’s Cherry Bounce. Bottoms up!

Erma Bombeck, a humorist from the 70’s published “If I had it to do over again.” One of the lines was something like “I would have invited friends over even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.”

So bake this cake. Invite a friend or two. If you bake it, they will come.

” Family is like fudge, mostly sweet, with a bunch of nuts.”

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